Saturday, October 22, 2011

Cruelty at Its Finest!

So folks I was late this month (and still am)... My hopes were so high. But much to no avail it is still a negative. I decided to go for the old fashion pregnancy test this time- 1 line not pregnant, 2 lines pregnant. The results were quick and immediate. It kinda felt like the pain you feel when you quickly rip off a band-aid. Unlike the digital test which is more like taking a band-aid of slowly. I don't know which I prefer because in the end the pain in my heart was still the same. I gave myself a 5 minute ugly cry moment. (Have you ever stood in front of a mirror during an ugly cry? It actually isn't a bad idea because when you see just how ugly you look you will probably stop crying sooner!) I must admit that I felt a little lingering anger as I drove to work. But for the most part, I felt I handled it somewhat well.

I find this to be the "cruelist" (which is not a word outside of my world) joke mother nature has ever played on me!!!! In fact the joke is continuing on.... since I still haven't started. The craziest part of all is this lingering hope that I have that maybe just maybe I actually could be pregnant. But when I actually think about it I know I am not, and so another month begins. Please just let this vicious and depressing cycle break sometime soon!!!

7 comments:

Kristin Milius said...

That's so hard! Hate negative tests!!! U using an ovulation test??

Sam and Megan said...

Sure am!

Brianna said...

I know it's hard but don't give up hope. God knows what the perfect timing is and he knows the desires of your heart. I know it's so hard, praying for you!

Holly and Brad said...

I'm so sorry Megan, we'll keep hoping and praying for you. And yes, you're so right, if you watch the ugly cry in the mirror if you're lucky it might just turn into a laugh because of how silly it looks...at least that's what happens to me ;)

Katie said...

Megan, I'm so sorry to hear this. I really am hoping for a positive test for you soon! This actually happened to me the month before I got pregnant. I was 10 days late!! 10! and of course there were nothing but negative tests and mean aunt flow showed up. But just a few weeks later I got pregnant. So maybe, this is a sign that it is getting closer! :) good luck girl!

Angela & Scott Olson said...

We have been trying for over a year, and I have to say I'm so sick of people talking about TIMING! AHHHH! I was 4 days late this month, and went through those same emotions - I wasn't sleeping well, I was nervous, stressed, excited, but trying NOT to be excited. How long have you been trying? (FB message me).

Angela & Scott Olson said...

That's form Kera, by the way. I don't know why it always says my comment is from my parents. Weird!