8 Weeks and 2 Days

I saw my precious little baby on August 8th. My little peanut's heart beating away on that screen. Our little miracle. They gave me 4 pictures. This is all I have left to prove that my baby once was.  That was the first and last time I ever saw him.

Before Our Loss- Our Story (Part 1)

It was 6:00 am. Nausea woke me up for the second day in a row. I had a test hidden in the back of the cabinet in the bathroom. (It was hidden because Sam didn't like it when I put myself through the heartache of taking a test and seeing a negative month after month for 4 years.) Everyone was asleep so I thought I would take the test, see a negative, take it out the trash outside and no one would ever know I once again put myself through this kind of torture. I laid the test on the counter and thought, "You're so stupid! Why are you even doing this? You know what it's going to be." I sat on the toilet and waited. I saw one line come up showing the test was working. I look back seconds later and see another line. I was in shock. Could this really be? I ran in and woke up Sam. I don't think he realized what I was saying, especially through the tears. He told me to go to CVS and get more tests. I took 2  more over the next 2 hours. 

All positive. 

We were pregnant. 

We finally got our little miracle. 

We were so happy. 

In an instant this baby restored joy and hope into our lives.